thewordofweb: (hint of grin)
[personal profile] thewordofweb
I nearly didn't make it down to the boat today. I'd gotten up, done my chores around the house and said my goodbyes to Joe and Sophie, but then I'd gotten caught gaping at my reflection and what was undoubtedly some plan to foil my mood in the form of a gray hair. At thirty-two, I really shouldn't be spouting hair that shade, and yet, there it is.

I'd already been having issues. After all, boyfriend who's forty, relationship hitting ten years, the same routine over and over again on the Island. What are you even supposed to do? How are you supposed to live your life with any kind of...well, anything. Call it a midlife crisis, but I was having the most uncomfortable time when it came to this. Honestly, I just want to strike out, do something different, be somewhere else.

The only else I have though, is the boat. I drop my things down at the base of the dock to start loading it up, trying not to catch my reflection in surfaces, lest I see something new, like a wrinkle.

Date: 2009-05-26 04:09 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ihearttomgordon.livejournal.com
Sometimes, it's as if she knows it's one of those days, because as Webster loads up the boat, Trisha appears toting her usual bag of outdoorsy paraphernalia. Over the years she's conquered her fears come to know the island better than most. She's careful, prepared, and aware. You learn those things when you learn them the hard way.

Another thing she's learned, is how to read the men in her life who she's seen through all of their ups and downs. She understands it all much more now than she did then and as far as Joe and Webster are concerned, she's 18 going on 30.

So it's no surprise that she's suddenly there, approaching the boat as if she had been planning to take it out herself. "Heya, Web. I hope you weren't planning on going out without your first mate. There's penalties for that."

Date: 2009-05-26 11:54 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thewordofweb.livejournal.com
The truth is that I had intended on setting out alone and yet like a specter out of nowhere, she appears and I have to admit that I feel sudden guilt, as if she somehow knows exactly what buttons to push in order to get me to feel that way. "Trisha," I greet fondly and lovingly, hoisting the bag with my fishing gear over the side before cleaning my palms on my shorts. "Don't you have...I don't know, some class or friend or Joe Liebgott to hang around and pester while I faffle about on the water?"

Date: 2009-05-28 12:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ihearttomgordon.livejournal.com
She looks at him squarely, and while there are about six other thing she could be doing instead she shakes her head. "Nope, Joe's busy," she says, and it's true. If Web's here, Joe's with Sophie and they both know it. "This isn't a super secret trip you're going on, is it?"

Date: 2009-05-28 02:42 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thewordofweb.livejournal.com
I get the last of the bags thrown over the side of the boat and shoot her a dubious look as I lean against the smooth outside (which I keep clean). "This is a very super secret trip I'm going on. I'm going to try and sail away to find the fountain of youth so I can stop graying." A soft German curse under my breath and I board the boat as well, not intending to sulk in public.

Date: 2009-05-28 03:59 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ihearttomgordon.livejournal.com
So that's what this is about. She rolls her eyes at him, not bothering to hide it. She's known that one for a long while now. She'd been a collector of colorful phrases, and all the German that Joe and Web spoke hadn't exactly escaped her. Especially the colorful stuff. "Gray? Where?" she asks in disbelief and drops her pack from her shoulder to catch the strap in her hand. She comes to stand next to the boat.

Date: 2009-05-28 08:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thewordofweb.livejournal.com
I've become very good at ignoring her eye-rolls and I lean over the boat and ruffle my hair back until the patch of gray is showing, making no mistake as to the fact that I am getting much older by the minute, it feels like. "There. All there. Just waiting for me to find it."

Date: 2009-06-03 03:39 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ihearttomgordon.livejournal.com
She does see it, but with the confidence of youth, she doesn't make much of it. It's not a big deal to her. Trisha can't even remember now if Larry McFarland ever had those gray wings at his temples, but she would bet that he had. "Aww come on, just that little bit? What's the matter with that?"

Date: 2009-06-03 11:49 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thewordofweb.livejournal.com
I try and grimace and sulk and pout at her, but she has a point and I'm probably being too much of a child with my whining. I don't have to like it, but it's true. "I'm getting older and older and I don't even have the beginnings of a plan as to this life," I complain. "And I don't even know how long it'll last! Maybe this midlife crisis is actually my end-of-life one and I just don't know it yet."

Date: 2009-06-04 02:39 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ihearttomgordon.livejournal.com
"A plan? Ain't you living it now?" In her opinion, Joe and Sophie, his boats, and the others still left from Easy, were his life. They were from where she stood anyway. "You haven't had a plan since day one. Who has?" It certainly hadn't been her plan to get stranded here and grow up without Mom and Dad and Pete.

Date: 2009-06-04 12:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thewordofweb.livejournal.com
I turn and sigh wearily, as if I'm utterly plagued and beleagured by all of this, but it's hard to keep that up when I stare at Trisha. I lean on the railing with my elbows, close to her as I can while the wind gets in my hair. And then I sigh, as if disgusted with myself. "Am I supposed to be proposing to him or something?" finally tumbles out, part of the genuine source of confusion. "After so long, am I meant to do more?"

Date: 2009-06-10 01:30 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ihearttomgordon.livejournal.com
She scoots onto the edge of the boat, balancing with one foot on the sand, the other curled up and behind her. "I'm surprised you haven't," she says honestly. "It's been a long time..." She can still remember finding them, both of them when they'd first arrived. One on the beach looking like death, the other inside smoking a cigarette. It's much more clear to her than her own appearance. "You've been together a long time," she adds pointedly.

Date: 2009-06-10 11:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thewordofweb.livejournal.com
I sigh and offer Trisha a look of longing and confusion, not really truly knowing what I'm supposed to do. "Ten years? Or so? I think more if you count the time we served together, but it's not like Joe was the one I was doing in the hospital," I mutter, breezily. My tone and words have become utterly lax around Trisha, I have to admit.

Date: 2009-06-12 02:52 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ihearttomgordon.livejournal.com
She shrugs a little. "So. You've been with him longer than anyone in your whole life," she points out, knowing it's true.

Putting her hands behind her head, Trisha gathers up her hair which has only darkened a little and grown a lot longer in the endless summer sun. Idly she starts braiding at she talks, "But I mean, do you think you have to do something? Don't you like stuff the way it is?"

Date: 2009-06-13 12:59 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thewordofweb.livejournal.com
It makes me slightly uncomfortable to admit that. It's strange to say aloud. It's true, but it's strange and I lean idly against the boat and grasp at her hand to pull her deeper into the boat, not wanting to have this conversation where everyone can hear. "The point is I do like it!" I protest, half-whining. "But we're older now. Things...I thought that things were supposed to follow a plan."

Date: 2009-06-13 02:11 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ihearttomgordon.livejournal.com
Trisha swings her legs over the side of the boat, lifting her bag up and over as she goes. "What part of this place ever struck you as having a plan?" she asks cynically. And then quieter, "I thought your plan had been to finish the war and go back to school wasn't it?" Future plans never seem to mean much when it's here today gone tomorrow.

Date: 2009-06-13 09:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thewordofweb.livejournal.com
"It was. And then I got Joe and plans became be with him for the rest of my life," I say in quiet argument, nodding to the ropes. "You go ahead and take us out. I don't need the practice anymore," I add, only a little smugly and infuriatingly.

Date: 2009-06-22 06:25 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ihearttomgordon.livejournal.com
It's what she wants to hear from him. She knows that it was his plan once, sure, but that's all long gone.

"Aye-aye Captain," she says with a salute, sounding like her younger self for a second. She turns her attention to the ropes and waits for him to talk. She knows he will.

Date: 2009-06-23 01:09 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thewordofweb.livejournal.com
I can't help something of a smirk as I sit back and crack open one of the beers that I've stowed away on board, watching her very clearly and carefully. "Jesus," I mutter with a soft scoff. "When the hell did you grow up so fast? I was still getting used to being a vague parental figure for you."

Date: 2009-06-24 04:21 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ihearttomgordon.livejournal.com
She gives him an unfathomable teenage-almost-adult look and then grins. "It's like gray hairs huh? It happens while you aren't looking and you only notice when it's to late to do anything about it?"

Date: 2009-06-24 04:23 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thewordofweb.livejournal.com
"If you turn around and get married and have children, I'm never going to forgive you," I announce haughtily, as if I'd really ever do such a thing, as if Trisha doesn't have me wrapped around her pinky finger. "Really. I don't know what I'd do with myself."

Date: 2009-06-24 04:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ihearttomgordon.livejournal.com
"Sure you would. And you'd marry Joe," she says simply as if it were the most natural thing in the world for the younger generation to set an example for the older.

She steers them out into the water, letting the sails catch and carry them.

Date: 2009-06-24 02:43 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thewordofweb.livejournal.com
"I dare you to tell him this line of logic," I note as I sip a long tug of beer, waiting for us to get far enough out that I might need to help. "Because love him as I do, I feel like if I do ask him to marry me, no matter how much I want it, he'll react...well, poorly to say the least."

Date: 2009-06-24 04:30 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ihearttomgordon.livejournal.com
She looks at him over her shoulder, quirking her brow, asking what he means without saying it, knowing that he'll go on without her prompting.

"How come? I mean aren't there plenty of married people on the island? Straight or gay or whatever?" she asks, tossing out the terms that she's picked up over the years from people her age.

Date: 2009-06-24 09:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thewordofweb.livejournal.com
I know this fact as well as anyone else does and the truth of the matter is that I understand that it should be normal. And yet, somehow, even though we took the leap and had a kid, we never exactly did the marriage thing. "Yeah, but you know Joe. Since when has he ever invited tradition on himself?"

Date: 2009-06-25 04:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ihearttomgordon.livejournal.com
Trisha shrugs. "There's a first time for everything, right? Wanna hold onto this while I climb over there?" she asks, interrupting the flow of conversation to right the boat.

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