I shrug idly and glance down at my hands for a moment. "I planned to move out to California after everything was through, anyway. I really fell in love with Santa Monica, I...I wanted to live there and San Francisco isn't so far. I could have gone to see him, maybe. Or I'd have just bought a boat, lived on the sea. I'd make do," I insist, even if my voice is rough at the thought of living without Joe.