[For Trisha]

[thewordofweb]

The truth of the matter is simple if you care to break it down into words that could belong in any book. I found the information on the bookshelf and I vanished in a fit of pique. Then I came back and neither Skinny or Grant could help me. And I still am too chickenshit to talk to Joe about it. I've barely just told him I love him, how can I possibly manage to ask him if he's willing to be enough for me to give up the rest of my life on the ocean for him?

Beyond that, I feel weary and broken. I've been spending the days to myself and even now as I go to fetch supplies to stock up the Homestead, my eyes are red and my cheeks are pale and wan, the result of too many hours spent shouting at the sea, screaming to a God who never listened before, shedding angry tears and feeling hopeless.

I just want to get in and out and as I descend the stairs past offices and beds, I just pray that no familiar faces can see my startlingly unfamiliar one.

Comments

[ihearttomgordon.livejournal.com]

"You won't!" she said more confidently than she felt. She knew now first hand how fast the island could take someone away. She could be gone tomorrow and right back into the woods...right back to facing The God of the Lost. "You can't..."

[thewordofweb.livejournal.com]

I'm so tired and I'm already breathing shakily, so I just wrap my arms tight around her and hug her as close as I can. "I don't want to lose you, I don't want to lose Joe, I don't...I don't..." I nearly stammer out in desperation and panic. "I need you so much."

[ihearttomgordon.livejournal.com]

Trisha hugged him back tightly in a silent agreement. She didn't know what he wanted or needed from her, but he was one of the people here she needed. Her forehead found the curve of his neck again as she pressed close.

[thewordofweb.livejournal.com]

I just adjust and slide down the wall until I can wrap my arms tightly around her and just try and staunch the flow of weariness and tears that seems eager to escape me. "I love you, Trish. If I don't say it enough, I do. I love you."

[ihearttomgordon.livejournal.com]

"I love you too, Web. But... but I donno what to do," she told him helplessly. She wanted to make him feel better or convince him that it was wrong, that nothing would happen, but she couldn't.

[thewordofweb.livejournal.com]

I don't know either and that's the problem. I'm helpless and still shaking as I curl her in close and keep mumbling in German over and over again, words that she won't understand, but ones that comfort me. "Just, let me say I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. If I leave you, when I leave you, I'm so sorry."

[ihearttomgordon.livejournal.com]

At first she thought she didn't understand because he was mumbling, barely forming the words, but with his mouth close to her ear she realized that she just didn't understand the language at all. She hugged him tighter, not knowing what the words meant but knowing it was either stay here and close or go. Run. Find Joe or just hide. But she didn't go. Wouldn't go unless he asked her to.