thewordofweb: (smoker's sin: by circa77)
[personal profile] thewordofweb
After everything, I can't believe that the one thing I reserve the most cowardice for is something I won't even face the consequences of until later on tonight or tomorrow. Whenever Joe starts picking up and finds it. I'm so fucking terrified that I've found myself on Blair's doorstep with my hand on her door, knocking as lightly as I can in the event I disturb Serena.

"Blair, prinzessin, it's me. I need to see you," I beg in a guttural and low tone, desperate as it gets.

Date: 2009-04-26 03:59 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thewordofweb.livejournal.com
I just manage a flicker of a shadow of a smile. I'm still too torn up about this and I shrug, shoulders tense. "I'm twenty-three now, so..." I trail off, knowing that impending doom is never very easy to talk about. "Joe's going to know by tonight. I don't know what's going to happen."

Date: 2009-04-27 09:43 am (UTC)
filmstarbeauty: (our secrets cannot save us)
From: [personal profile] filmstarbeauty
"That doesn't make it any less unfair." Blair tugged his hands, dragging him backwards further into the living room part of the hut until her calf bumped against familiar furniture. "Come on, let's go talk in my room so Serena won't wake up and...we'll figure something out."

Date: 2009-04-27 12:43 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thewordofweb.livejournal.com
I nod, grateful for Blair and all that she did for me, wandering with her and clasping her hand tightly, wanting to just hover until we had a solution. "When I go home, he's going to know. And that I haven't told him. He's finding out from a piece of paper."

Date: 2009-04-27 01:49 pm (UTC)
filmstarbeauty: (how to bring to a bad girl down)
From: [personal profile] filmstarbeauty
"Then you get to tell him again. But he's going to know like you know and it'll be fine. I promise it'll be fine."

It was a false promise and she knew, but Blair's life was full of false promises and half-lies. It was things she didn't want to share and trying to protect people, but she had to do this.

Date: 2009-04-27 03:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thewordofweb.livejournal.com
"I don't think it will be, Blair," I admit wearily, sinking down onto her bed when it becomes the only point I can imagine sagging onto, my thoughts seeming heavier than my physical weight. "What if fate is already set out? What if you just can't change some things?"

Date: 2009-04-29 01:58 am (UTC)
filmstarbeauty: (we never sleep (god knows we try))
From: [personal profile] filmstarbeauty
"What? Like you suddenly getting married and having three kids with some girl you haven't met yet?" Blair sat down across from him on the bed, having a strange momentary feeling of deja vu. "Because what are the chances of that?"

Date: 2009-04-29 02:02 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thewordofweb.livejournal.com
"You never know," I say and it's actually a joke and I smirk right across the bed before shifting to lie down, resting my head against her knee. "Joe could always end up a woman. I could knock him up a couple of times and then sail out to sea and die."

Date: 2009-04-29 09:40 pm (UTC)
filmstarbeauty: (look what the cat dragged in)
From: [personal profile] filmstarbeauty
"I don't think that's how this place works. The island would have him lose his temporary baby before that happens. It likes tragedy in mass." If there was one thing that Blair knew, she knew that this place was all about cruelty and possibly inhumanity. Its sense of humour was completely lost on her. "Deep breaths. Think about it."

Date: 2009-04-29 09:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thewordofweb.livejournal.com
I breathe in heavily and press my forehead hard against her knee and try to exhale normally, but it still comes out shaky. "I don't want to think," I mumble, words sticking together. "I spend all my time thinking. I am constantly thinking. I just want to stop thinking."

Date: 2009-04-30 10:27 pm (UTC)
filmstarbeauty: (not like this is the end of the world)
From: [personal profile] filmstarbeauty
"I know how that feels." Boy does Blair ever. Sighing, she bit her lip, at a loss for how to fix this. She was supposed to be good at fixing those she loved when they were broken, but what happened when she couldn't? "Thinking sucks."

Date: 2009-04-30 10:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thewordofweb.livejournal.com
"Yeah," I agree hoarsely, peering up at her with blurry eyes, shifting until I can move up and wrap my arms around her waist, just lying there. "Skinny and Grant say I'm always thinking. Always thinking about everything too goddamn much. I don't know how to turn it off," I admit.

Date: 2009-04-30 11:55 pm (UTC)
filmstarbeauty: (my heart broke all over that)
From: [personal profile] filmstarbeauty
"If you think too much what does that say about me?"

It didn't say anything good, that was for certain. If anything it said a lot of doom and gloom and chill out. But she'd spent three days chilling out and that hadn't worked out well either. She needed something else.

Date: 2009-05-01 12:14 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thewordofweb.livejournal.com
"That we're very peas in a pod," I say and give her a tired look. "Let me just rest here before I go face things," I plead. "Let's just...not think. Okay?"

Date: 2009-05-03 06:32 am (UTC)
filmstarbeauty: (Default)
From: [personal profile] filmstarbeauty
"Two miserable little bitter peas in a pod. Lucky us." Blair was certain that was why she kept being spit out. No one wanted to keep her around. Flopping backwards on her bed, she nodded. "Okay. I can do that."

Date: 2009-05-03 02:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thewordofweb.livejournal.com
I shift and ease closer until I'm curled up with her in only the most platonic of ways, finding that comfort can come easy when it's like this. We can just be. I shift and offer her a tired smile. "Thank you, Blair," I murmur. "I love you to bits, you know that, right?"

Date: 2009-05-05 09:56 pm (UTC)
filmstarbeauty: (Default)
From: [personal profile] filmstarbeauty
"I do, mostly because I love you too." Even though she sometimes wondered if he'd would love her less and want to coddle her if he knew all of the dark and painful things about her.

Date: 2009-05-05 10:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thewordofweb.livejournal.com
"Alright, I need to sleep," I mumble and flash her a smirk on my face. "If you want to use this as a story against potential boyfriend suitors, I'd choose now as a good time to invite them over accidentally while forgetting I'm here."

Date: 2009-05-05 10:56 pm (UTC)
filmstarbeauty: (Default)
From: [personal profile] filmstarbeauty
"As if." Blair grumbled, elbowing him lightly. "And if you snore, I shoving you off the bed, for the record and then going to go sleep in Serena's room."

Date: 2009-05-05 11:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thewordofweb.livejournal.com
"Deal," I guarantee, though I know that I hardly ever snore, no matter what Liebgott says. If I can just focus on getting through today, if I can just do that, things will be fine.

Or that's what I keep telling myself.

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